Granny Linda

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Posts by Granny Linda

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  22

  Just pass me a cigarette and hold on

  by Eyebrow2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  been a while since i have had a chance to visit the board.

  a lot of things have happened...dealing with some business crap....ending one and starting a new one with a partner this time...dealing with child custody issues...my husband was laid off....just general stress....arghhhh!!!!.

  everything is going to work out i am sure...but i bought my first pack of cigarettes in 10 years on sunday.

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  Granny Linda

  I got a chuckle from this thread. The dreaded cigarettes!!!! OH NO!

  It's sorta funny when I look around my environment that somehow...HUMMMM consists of older adult females that find it near impossible passing up some of that reefer madness. Interesting.

  Years ago when I was in the depths of that "change of life" syndrome and really needed some help with a mental shift in thinking...rather than prescribe to the legal Prozac and/or any one of the numerous drugs available for lots of $$$$ - I ran to my neighbor searching for a puff on a bowl or a bong. For myself it was better then picking up a drink.

  When I saw my fence riding JW sister two years ago she was really surprised that I had not quit smoking cigarettes as she had...but, she did tell me all about her "happy pill" {her words} Prozac. I found that rather ironic but didn't say anything.

  Whatever ails the moment for you...I'll keep good thoughts going your way because that old addage is so true. This too shall pass.

  gl
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  5

  When Can I be Selfish??

  by snbdye2000 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am not a jehovah's witness, nor have ever been.

  i cannot even come close to relating what that is like.

  however, my husband has been studying with them.

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  Granny Linda

  Ya know, I used to think myself selfish for many reasons. Much of which came from an engrained JW mindset that certainly creates a neurosis. I have no advise, just wanted too acknowledge your post because I've been through those rough spots in my marriage(s); although they were not related to religion, which I'd imagine must be one of the most difficult situations to deal with - conflicting religious beliefs. (((Hugs)))

  When my husband and I first got together some 10 years ago the first thing I told him was that should he embrace Christianity in any fashion or form - it wouldn't work. Just my experience shared. I'd had enough of people telling me how to live my life and would (will) not tolerate it from even him.

  In our instance...all's well that ends well. There are no easy answers...just remember not to give up who you are for the sake of a religion that is anti-life, anti-happiness and full of negativity.

  Stay of good cheer

  gl
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  8

  TELL ME YOUR LONELY B-DAY STORIES!!

  by tresbella in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my 21 birthday was saturday.

  goodbye late nights; hello botox!

  ) i was kinda sad b/c i was hoping this year i would be able to have my first b-day party since i found out through my own research that celebrating them are not wrong.. but i was not able to plan a party or anything (hopefully next year).

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  Granny Linda

  If I knew how to do more on this computer then turn it on/off, I'd be more than happy sending you a really neat bd pic...but since I've confessed to my errrr- ignorance of such matters let this suffice.

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR TRESBELLA...

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!

  Granny, of the "I'm not lonely anymore on my bd." There is hope...and many more happy birthdays to come your way.

  gl
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  3

  Bob Geldof fights for Fathers Rights...

  by bull01lay in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  did anyone see the documentary last night on c4 - hopefully highlighting the plight of many fathers over here in the uk!!.

  i watched it in tatters.... it brought back some very painful memories, and reminded me of the precariousness of my own 'contact' with my little girl.

  it also reminded me of the unnacceptable prejudism towards men in the so called "family law".. in a society that demands equal rights for women, ethnic minorities, homosexuals, lesbians, disabled... people seem to have forgotten about 'ordinary' men.

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  Granny Linda

  Unfortunetly I see too many mothers that have anything but the interests of their children at heart, and yet the father is negated as the boogy man.

  Or, on the flip side of what is seen...the mother, again, has no skills in basic home care and the father comes in after his "duty" as $$$ provider just too clean the house and tend the children.

  I've been absent from this board for many months and just recently began reading. Although I'm not familiar with much of Corvin's case...my heart swelled up two sizes too big for the children involved.

  It is time to end such ignorant thinking about the role fathers play in their children's life - no matter what country. American "justice" ain't always so just either.

  GL
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  16

  The NEED for Acknowledgement and Validation..what do you think?

  by LyinEyes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was flipping thru the channels a few minutes ago and the oprah show was on with an interview with tatum o'neal .

  i havent watched all of the show but from what i can get from it so far,,,,,,tatum has a bad relationship with her father , she has written a book about it all.

  she and oprah were talking about what could make her have peace with her father and so on .

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  Granny Linda

  That validation is a basic human need, but one we rarily received as a JW.

  It took years for me to reconize that much of my own sense of worth came from my jobs. It puzzled me for a long time why I would question promotions, etc. What did those people see in me that I could not reconize within...and so it's been a long road of recovery. And I'm glad to say the worst is behind me.

  "Today" is the important one. How do I validate and acknowledge others? By not using shame as an attack upon their person - as was done not only me, but so many others whether or not we were raised in a sickening religion.

  I was told many years ago when first getting into recovery (actually it's been 17 years) that it was a process of self discovery. And I've discovered that I am worthy and my voice does matter.

  GL
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  5

  Remembering

  by Granny Linda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i spoke with my elderly aunt yesterday about much of what i've read over this past week...catching up on the best of series...well, some of it anyhow; and her comments echoed much of what many former jw's have already spoken of.. she reminded me how many years ago when her one grandchild needed a blood transfusion and her daughter had called in a panic...my aunt simply told her to do what she felt for best for the child - not the church.

  or, the sometimes humerous stories of field service - the dreaded thought that someone might actually answer their door.

  my aunt releated how her own father had once asked if she wanted to "pioneer" and when my aunt told him, "no" my grandfather had the most shocked look on his face.

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  Granny Linda

  I spoke with my elderly aunt yesterday about much of what I've read over this past week...catching up on The Best of Series...well, some of it anyhow; and her comments echoed much of what many former JW's have already spoken of.

  She reminded me how many years ago when her one grandchild needed a blood transfusion and her daughter had called in a panic...my aunt simply told her to do what she felt for best for the child - not the church. Or, the sometimes humerous stories of field service - the dreaded thought that someone might actually answer their door.

  My aunt releated how her own father had once asked if she wanted to "pioneer" and when my aunt told him, "no" my grandfather had the most shocked look on his face.

  Needless to say my aunt has long ago been df, but the memories are still there along with the endless shunning from family. And she is near 80 years of age now. At any rate my beloved Aunt Jeannie sends each and everyone of you her love.

  GL
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  25

  first timer...feelin like crap

  by Boolean in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everyone....this this my first time on one of these forums... been out for short while, but i miss my family and the friends i grew up with.. feeling a little shitty.

  how did u cope with suddenly being cut off from the people that you love and depend on?.

  by the way, if your wondering about my nik, look it up, thats how my mind is right now.

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  Granny Linda
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  32

  If God doesn't exist, what's your future?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  many here don't believe in god anymore so can't believe in any resurrection.

  so what do you expect once you die?.

  and if you believe that there is nothing after this life, are you working overtime in this life to get the most out of it because there is nothing after...

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  Granny Linda

  Good Morning.

  At the moment my future seems to be more wrinkles and gray hair. After this episode it's anyone's guess.

  I've gotten to the point in my life where pondering over the "what-if" in regards to what happens after death just isn't important. Oh, I'll have discussion at times with my husband, but basically I've learned that how I spend my time now is more important then what happens after I shed this body.

  My former husband always told me people fear death; period. So we have all sorts of belief systems that can support any idealogy that the individual finds comfort from. And I'm not going to judge those people today who need a belief in an after-life too find comfort from this life. I'm just busy taking each day as it comes with full knowledge that none of us escape this life without experiencing a physical death.

  Meanwhile I'm living life to the best of my ability. And it ain't bad.

  granny
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  47

  How do women do it ????? Do you have no self respect ?????

  by run dont walk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  125 years of the watchtower, and women are still considered garbage.. they cannot give talks, have a position in the congregation, cannot lead a study when a man is present, give a prayer etc etc etc etc.......... they can be of the annoited class, but a man who is a ms, still has more say !!!!!!!!!!.

  to all the women on this board, did this ever bother you as a jw, and does it bother you know ???.

  how can women sit at a meeting and in a round about way be treated like garbage and accept it ????

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  Granny Linda

  Growing up as a JW there certainly was not any genuine self-respect. Today though is a different story.

  I'm glad I would not fit into any "society" that would demean not only woman, but children. The old addage of "children should be seen and not heard" is not a healthy attitude either. I would agree that too much of what seems acceptable in our culture is Bible based - and outdated for our times.

  Perhaps it's not just about self-respect, but respect. Period. Having self-respect reflects in my speech and behavior towards others, too. Of course it's a puzzle to me how I see many woman allowing themselves to be treated as second rate in this day and age. And this from non-christian woman as well.

  As for woman playing football and/or other sports designed for men...who cares. Why aren't we taking pride in the abilities we have other than this great show of physical strength? What are we competing with men for in the first place...too declare some sort of "I'm as good as you?"

  Just tossing thoughts out at the moment...while I want a strong man in my life, I also reconize my own inner strength. And that is something only I could develope and nourish; a very foreign idea to JWs.

  Having developed a sense of self-pride allowed me to look around at how our men can suffer greatly, too. Generally I've gotten along well with men because they needed female input as I needed male input. (no pun intended)and it wasn't about submission or, being less than...it was about how we can compliment the other. Where one is weaker perhaps the other is stronger. Being united in purpose can accomplish more than buying into an old woren out mantra about "submission."

  Even for those stay-at-home women, the skills that are required to maintain a home, when put down on a resume' are pretty damn impressive. In closing out this long winded missive I'll go about my day of volunteer work remembering how we each contribute to the whole. I love men! I love woman, too. I love children, the elderly, my cats, my home, my grandchildren...ah shucks. I'm just in one of those "ain't it great to be alive" days.

  I also love the fact that because I'm female the men will be driving the forklift, moving tons of donated items around, lifting and heaving the physically heavy stuff while this woman takes care of the phone, the crowd, the cleaning up after the men...and making sure they are taken care of. Not because I think "it's my job" but because it makes me feel good about me...and the men appreciate my efforts.

  I love ya'll, too.

  granny
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  20

  Depression, Suicide, Abusive Parents

  by kitties_and_horses_oh_my! in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my first time posting...i've been lurking for awhile.

  i "faded away" in september and my mental health has greatly improved, although i still struggle with a somewhat-controlled eating disorder.

  i have a long history of mental health problems, from the time i was about 20. i was raised "in the truth" and my parents were very emotionally/verbally abusive.

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  Granny Linda

  Hi, Kittens. Welcome.

  Thank you for sharing so much of your story with us. It's helps, that's for sure not only you, but us.

  I used to hear in A.A. (yeah, that's where I was introduced to recovery) that suicide was a permanant solution to a temporary problem. And since that time I've learned there is a more positive solution; although I, too, have had my bouts with depression and suicidal thoughts.

  I'm so very glad you posted. That's what this forum is about...sharing our experience and hope for a brighter tomorrow. And it does come. One thing other former drunks would always say, "It ain't easy, but it does get better." Boy, I'm sure glad no one ever told me it would be easy...but ya know, with time it does get easier. Easier, in my opinion, once we find that inner strength, it's easier dealing with life as it comes. And sometimes that means cutting off negative association - from whatever source it originates.

  When I was in 7th grade I walked out of art class saying I was going to kill myself. I was desperate, lonely, frightened, and just plain unhappy with everything going on in my life. Actually I was just going home early for lunch, but the cops meant me half way because the teachers did take heed. Of course the only place my mom took me was before the elders. More of the same old shit.

  My mom would wait until her anger was so great that she would pick up the nearest object and begin hitting any one of us. How very, very sad for any child growing up in such sickness. This whole JW thing tork's my pistle. And that's stating it mildly.

  Here, too, I could write pages, but I'll end by saying again that I'm happy for any of us who have survived untold misery at the hands of abusive parents. Religious abuse is very real. Not just with JW's, but other groups as well. Once I got a handle on my drinking, the religious abuse issues came into play.

  It's not about blame, you're right. But parents have accountability. Now that we are the adult, it is our responsibility to seek healing...and sharing is a part of that process. Besides, as I've already stated, you help us perhaps more than we help you. It's a reminder of Gratitude.

  Gawd, this old lady in A.A. would preach Gratitude at just about every meeting!And as life goes, I've learned over these past 16 years just how magical such expressions are.

  Thank you for being here for us.

  And for all the new posters that I've ignored too long...WELCOME

  granny linda